So welcome to part two of this three part series all about attraction. That's going to help you solve that big old problem, you know that you have where it's like, I want this dream relationship. But no matter how hard I try, no matter what I do, you know, you're just not attracting the quality relationship worthy or interested men. So before you get into this episode, make sure you've listened to episode number nine, the problem that you have to solve if you want to find love, it's linked in the show notes. Because inside this episode, we're gonna get into the conversation that you've like, likely never had about attraction like this is the real deal. On attraction, you're gonna get an entirely new understanding of attraction that's going to unlock entirely different action for you to take so that you're able to change up who it is that you're attracting, and for the better. Because unlike most mainstream dating advice, you know, unlike what that has you believe attraction actually has very little to do what you look like physically, how good you are at playing the game or being who you think men want. So be sure to listen to this episode a few times, because I cannot stress enough how important it is that you understand these principles of attraction. Because like I said, This understanding is going to change up the action that you've been taking. And that hasn't been working to attract the quality men into your life. So let's get into it now. Cannot wait for you to understand what attraction is really about. Welcome to the loved up effect Podcast. I'm Emily Bucknell, here to get you from demoralized, in single to empowered, confident, and in the loving arms of your dream guy, if you're a smart, successful woman with a lot of love to give, but no matter what you do, how hard you try or how much you want it. You just don't seem to be getting any closer to love, then you are in the right place. I'm here to answer your biggest and most frustrating questions when it comes to dating love and relationships in a way that no one else will get ready for practical,
no BS and powerful AF insights that will lead you to love.
Are you ready? Let's get into today's episode. Okay, so before we get into this episode, I want to double check again that you have listened to episode number nine, because we're picking up where we left off on that one. And if you haven't listened to that is this whole conversation you're going to it's not going to make as much sense. So if you haven't, go listen to that episode. First, it's linked in the show notes. Because today we're talking all about attraction, like the real freakin deal on attraction. And what you're going to learn today, it honestly has the power to change absolutely everything for you, you know, take you from that kind of situation where you're just attracting all the freakin duds to finally attracting guys that you see a real future with like, we're unlocking the whole thing today. And I cannot stress how important it is that you really get this, that you really understand what attraction is about. Because as long as you keep operating from that current understanding that you have about attraction, like nothing is going to change for you. Like what got you to this point. So all the action that you've been taking what you have understood about attraction until this point, to this point, it isn't gonna get you into your dream love, it isn't going to all of a sudden work and you're going to start attracting like incredible men. You know, I love that quote from Einstein, no problem can be solved by the same level of consciousness that created it. So you're in this kind of problem, like I talked about, where you're not attracting the guys that you want in your life that you can have that incredible relationship with. That's the problem. You know, in order to solve that you have to learn something new. You have to at some point, you have to, you know, learn something new and start taking different action, otherwise, nothing will change for you. If you don't take this on. If you don't take on this new understanding of attraction, I guarantee you, you will keep attracting the same jerks that you've been attracting and to to this point, you know, so I'm so freaking excited to get into this with you. Because this like I said, you learn something new here, you start taking new action and what you're about to learn about attraction opens like entirely different action for you to take, you're gonna get different results, you're gonna start attracting those quality men into your life. So what is attraction? So like I said in episode number nine, you know, despite what mainstream dating advice would have you believe, you know, the way that you look, your physical appearance, the way that you interact with men how like attractive you are or being who you think men want all of that stuff. It's like literally like 1% of what actually makes you attractive or not to the quality minute to the quality men that you want to have into Your life like none of that matters. It doesn't matter, like your physical appearance, whether or not you're good at playing the game, like what you look like how in your feminine energy are, that does not matter. How good was that I just stopped myself from swearing. What matters is your energy. It is your energy that determines who you attract into your life. And I get it, I get it, I'm sure there's some of you who are like, I'm not into that woowoo mumbo jumbo kind of stuff. And that's exactly how I felt when I first learned this too. But what I want you to understand, this isn't just like mumbo jumbo, New Age, hippie dippie kind of stuff. Like, this is how life works. This is literally how life works. It's how the universe works. Like attracts like, and when you start working with the universe, everything changes. So yeah, here I'm actually referring to the law of attraction, which is one of the 12 universal laws. And it works so nicely alongside the law of vibration that states that we are all made up of energy energy that's in a constant state of motion. You know, that's what we learned in like year nine physics, motion that's determined by energy, frequency, vibration, whatever you want to call it, you know, like attracts like, you know, so you might be someone like me, like when I first came across this as a way out of attracting the jerks. You know, I like I said, I thought like, I don't believe in manifestation, or the law of attraction, or any of that were stuff like, that's not me, you know, but I want you to understand, this isn't something that you believe in or not, like, it's always having an effect in your life, whether you believe in it or not. So whether or not you believe in, it doesn't actually matter, it's still having an effect in your life. Like, you don't have to say I believe in gravity to have it work, its effect on you, you know, but life gets a hell of a lot easier when you're like, Okay, I know I'm gonna, if I trip I'm gonna fall over. So you do your best not to trip over, you know, so understanding the universal laws, which simply describe how the way that life works, you know, and I think sometimes people can think like, when you talk about the law of attraction, or the universal laws, it's like, that's just weird made up stuff. But they actually have their roots in, like, various philosophical and religious traditions, you know, there's phrases and verses in the Bible, Hinduism, New England trends and dental lism. Like all of this stuff, is actually the universal laws, like people observing how life works for centuries. And just saying, well, like, if you do these things, then you can create this effect in your life. And it's really when you start to understand this and start to understand how the universe life works. You know, it's knowledge that you can use to your advantage, and you're insane. If you're like, I don't want to know about that. Because you're literally cutting off. Like, like I said, you're cutting off a whole new way of doing things, that's actually going to get you to where you want to be. Think of this really just like a new way to approach life to live more harmonious with life, so that you have what it is that you want. I am freaking all about that. Like, who wouldn't want to be all about that. And it really comes down to this choice. Like I said, you can take this on and take on a whole new understanding, take new action and get to where it is that you want to be. Or you can keep operating from what got you to the place that you are right now. Where you're attracting all the non committal emotionally unavailable guys, the guys with 800 Red Flags who are like still hung up on their ex who don't seem to give a you know, what about you, you can keep attracting those people, but nothing is frickin going to change for you. Until you you know, develop this new understanding and this new way forward. You What got you, I'll say it again, what got you to the place you are right now, it isn't going to get you into your dream love. Going back to that Einstein quote, no problem can be solved by the same level of consciousness that created it. Like in order to get out of this problem that you're in, you have to have this new understanding. And that's what I'm giving you right now. So I want to make that so insanely clear. You know, you do have a choice here like you can close your are close yourself off from all of this from everything that I'm saying you can like, hit stop and be like, don't care. You know, you can say I'm not interested in learning something new that could very much change your life. And like I said, You'll stay exactly where you are attracting all the guys that you don't want to be attracting, you know, but to attract. If you want to attract your dream men in and have your dream relationship, then you have to adopt a new way of thinking or else you will never solve this problem that you're stuck in. of not attracting the quality men. So let's get you into that new level of consciousness, that new understanding of how the laws of vibration and attraction are working in your life right now. Like they are literally working in your life all the time, whether you're aware of it or not, you know, they explain the concept, you know, that like attracts like, you know, and as we're made up of energy, who were who we attract, and who is attracted to us, it occurs because of the energy or, or vibration that we hold. So just like if you get in your car, and you want to listen to the news on the radio, you know, and I know and you know, like, okay, that the news channel, it's like, at the frequency of 98.3, your car is not on that frequency. So what do you do, you change the frequency to 98.3. And then you get to hear what it is that you want to hear. You know, if you don't change the frequency, you don't get into what it is that you want to hear.
You know, and this explains, you know, what you do to really attract the guys that you want in your life. So to explain this, and how this works, when it comes to attraction and attracting men into your life, what I want you to do, like, just kind of take that example that I use with the radio, it's all about changing your frequency. When you change your frequency and you become you're at that frequency of what you want to attract into your life. It can finally freakin come into your life. So consider right now. How will you feel when you have that dream incredible men in your life? How will you feel when you're attracting like the most awesome men that want the relationship that are interested in you that just like I'm ready to go, Michael you're going to be feeling like so loved excitement, contentment, happiness, joy, all the like really epic, what we call higher vibrational feelings, that frequency. So when you get yourself to that frequency, then that is when you attract all the people the things and experiences that are at that vibration. So think about how you feel right now. And it's so common, you know, if you're new to me, like that your energy is going to be around that kind of desperation, frustration, hopelessness, powerlessness, despair, you know those lower vibrational fear feelings. And if that's where you're at, then you are simply not an energetic match to the quality men that you want to date. And that's exactly why you just keep ended up well, you just keep like attracting No one. No matter how hard you try, it just doesn't seem like there's anyone left for you. Or you attract these guys that you get all excited about, but then they turn out to be massive letdowns. You will always attract what you're a vibrational or energetic match to even if it isn't what you want to do think about it. How do you feel about your love life right now? And what are you attracting as a result. And there are two massive points that I want to make here. 99% of people have this freaking backwards, where it's like, you're in all those feelings of desperation, despair, powerlessness, just feeling awful about the fact that you don't have this man in your life, this relationship. And then you're thinking and you're telling yourself that in order to feel better, to get out of those awful feelings, then you need to find the guy and have the relationship. Like this is you this is what I want to understand. This is when people say this is like how you give your power away. Because this is you giving your power away to that external event that is external to you happening, which you don't actually control. Like you're saying, I won't feel okay until I have the relationship, which stops you from having the relationships and means that you're stuck feeling like absolute crap, which is a no win situation that so many of you are stuck in right now. What I want you to understand is that the only thing in life you control is you what is happening within you, which includes your energetic state, you get to decide how you feel. You know what energy you put out there, that is what you control. And it's only when you start to consciously manage or regulate your energy, that you'll actually see changes in who you're attracting, so that they become like what it is that you actually want to see. You have to be the change that you want to see. Get into the vibration of love and you will attract love. It's up to you to get to that place then it can come into your life, not the other way around. It's not about getting the relationship so then you become that vibration. You got to get there first. And the other important point here is something that a lot of people don't mention, when they have this conversation about the law of attraction. You know, like attracts like, you know, you've got to get into the vibration of what it is that you want to attract. What I also want you to understand is that you're human, like, you are going just because you're human, you're gonna experience all of the emotions, all the energetic vibrations, the high ones, the low ones, and everything in between. You're having a human experience. So it's not about hating on yourself, because you have a day where you get triggered left, right and center, you lose your coal, you feel flat, are you feeling sad, or you're just like in that lower vibrational place? You know, and I think this is where so many people get stuck when they first hear this, it's like, oh, my god, I can't ever feel terrible. And then when you're feeling terrible, like you feel even more terrible, because you feel terrible, and it just pulls you further and further down. What matters more is how you meet yourself when you're feeling those lower vibrational emotions, and meeting yourself with love and acceptance. If you say, You know what I'm getting frustrated today, it's okay to be frustrated. That's you meeting yourself with love. And when you do that, you automatically start pulling yourself out of those lower vibrational feelings. Rather than getting mad at yourself that you're not feeling love and joy every second of the day, it's not going to happen, you're not going to be at the vibration of love, all the time. But it's really about understanding where you're at, and then what you can do to get yourself up and out. So let's go back to those three mistakes, or the action that I mentioned in the previous episode in episode number nine, you know, the action that you've been taking to find or attract your dream guy. And let's look at them now that you have this perspective. And so you can really start to understand how influential your energy is when it comes to who you attract. So the first thing that we talked about was like, literally trying to find the quality men like being on an absolute mesh to track him down. By being on the apps where you're more like, like, where you've been told that you're more likely to find the quality guys, you know, getting out and about all the time swiping, like it's like a part time job, you know, on a mission to track him down. So how are you feeling? If this is the action that you're taking, like totally desperation, a whole lot of panic, worry, forcing, fighting that on a mission kind of energy. So what does this mean that you're going to be attracting more of, isn't going to be the incredible men, it's going to be more of the lack of incredible men, you know, you're, you're in this place of lack, where it's like, I gotta find this person, I don't have this person, so I gotta find them. So for all the looking and the finding that you're doing, you're literally going to keep coming up with nothing. You're going at it with this effort like this, that energy of effort got to make this happen. If I don't make it happen, my life's gonna fall to pieces, like desperation kind of energy. You know, you're gonna just, it's just gonna be continually you're doing all the things, but you're not getting any results. And even if you do happen to meet the guys that do seem okay, like, they run a mile from this energy, and you know it like, you know, it desperation doesn't feel great. You know, I 100% was in desperate, desperate, desperate energy place back in the day when I was trying to do all this myself. I knew it, I knew it. And I didn't like admitting it. I did not like the D word. And it didn't feel great. I knew it was having the opposite effect that I had, that I had intended. But I didn't know what to do about it. I was like, Yeah, I'm in this desperate kind of place, but I have no idea what to do about it. We'll be talking what you actually do about your energy in the next episode. So stay tuned for that one. So the second thing that we talked about, was focusing on attracting the quality men by being who you think they want. So making sure you look a certain way physically wearing your red dresses your hair down, bang and body, making sure you have that kind of like easy going girl next door vibe with that hint of like some some extra, you know, or interacting with men in a way that you think they want. So being more in your feminine energy playing hard to get not replying to text messages straightaway, the whole thing. So what then is the energy behind that action? How are you feeling under all of that? How are you feeling about yourself? And if you're really honest, it's pretty frickin awful. And I remember this too. Like you've made the assumption that because you're not attracting the awesome guys. Therefore, you're not attractive that therefore There's something wrong with you that you have to fix that you're not good enough the way that you are to be noticed, chosen, loved by someone and that hurts like hell, doesn't it? It's not true. It's not true. It's literally the meaning that you're giving to the experiences that you've had. And it's fair enough, but I'm here to tell you it isn't true.
That story that you're telling yourself, I'm not enough. You know, there's something wrong with me, I have to fix this about myself, that pulls you into that energy of sadness, unworthiness in significance. So then is it any wonder that you're attracting all the guys that don't really seem to care about you, where you're always fighting for their attention, doing the legwork? You know, wondering if you'll ever get noticed or feel valued, or have someone like chase you? Right? I remember this. So like, this one hits a nerve for me. And the third thing that I talked about, which I didn't talk much about in episode number nine, but hopefully it's gonna make sense to you now, is getting sucked into all the chat about how hard and soul destroying dating is, how all men suck, are untrustworthy, disappointing, if flaky, boring, all of that kind of stuff, how hard it is to find love. If you're over 30. And you're smart and successful, you know, it is easy to get sucked into that conversation. Like I closed down this free Facebook group that I had years ago. And there were like, 1000s of women in it. Because like, all the talk turned to this. It is like gossip, it spreads like wildfire. And it sucks you in without you even realizing. So let's talk about the energy that's underneath all of that. So really kind of thing. What kind of energy like what about what am I saying about men? What am I saying about dating? Think about the energy behind that. You know, the energy that you're putting out there, when you say men are so untrustworthy, they're flaky, they're liars, they're boring, whatever it happens to be, what is that energy? It's not particularly pleasant, kind or loving, isn't it? And yeah, I guess there are men that don't behave like the men or treat you like the men that you want to have in your life. But what you focus on grows. So if you have more of this angry, resentful energy going out there, you know, rather than having love going out there for men, you know what you're going to be getting back like attracts, like, attracts like, you got that energy going out there, you're going to attract more men that are untrustworthy, that are flaky, that a lie is that a horrible that are boring. You know, it keeps you stuck in this cycle, where you're just attracting the same guys over and over and over again, because you're focusing on that, what it is that you don't want. You know, it's why people say resentment is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies. It does nothing to that person, but it keeps you stuck attracting them. The energy that you put out there is always, always going to come back to you. And that's the universal law of karma. You know, if you want to attract the incredible men into your life, keep your side of the street freakin clean. Have that loving energy going out there to men, you know, to the men that you have already in your life that are amazing. You know, the men in your family, you know, friends that you have that are men, men that you work with, you know, send love out to the men that you that are coming into your life that you want in your life. You know, I want you to leave here now knowing that like what app you've been on, what you look like, how good you are at playing the game. Like without a doubt, I want you to understand now that has very little when it comes to finding or attracting the quality men into your life. By all means you can keep doing all of that stuff. But where is that going to get you? How anything changed for you? You know, and how much longer can you keep plugging away at it because it is soul destroying? You know, to be feeling that way about yourself. I have to fix myself I have to be taking all this action. It gets you absolutely nowhere, but feeling worse. It just pulls you down into that energy. You know constantly attracting these disappointing guys or none at all. What I really want you to understand is finding love it's not supposed to be painful. It's not supposed to be a horrific experience. And as you know now if you're feeling that way, then you are disconnected from the energy of love. You're not In that vibration and love simply cannot come in. And it's up to you to take the action to get into that vibration. You do that everything will change. Your energy is the game changer when it comes to attracting the quality men that you want in your life. So if you're serious about having your dream love, then your step from here is to focus like wholeheartedly on your energy, knowing that the rest will follow. It's freaking universal law it's going to happen. So focus wholeheartedly on your energy. What does that mean you actually do? Stay tuned for the next episode.
