Okay, so I'm super excited about this episode, I've actually decided to take the first session, from my five day challenge your love life overhauled, and share it here. And I decided to do this because it's like foundational information that you need to have in order to take your love life from like everything that you've been experiencing all those patterns that just keep playing out, where it's like you're not attracting anybody decent or you're attracting all of the like, you know, guys that don't want commitment, the relationships that last three months and then you get dumped or constantly getting ghosted, whatever it happens to be that you're experiencing, taking all of that leaving that behind so that you can actually find love, you know, the the your love life overhauled, I actually created that for anybody really, like if you have been actively trying to find love for the last year, probably a hell of a lot longer. And the action you're taking isn't getting your results and you're not actually taking the action that you need to. This is not mainstream dating advice. This is the stuff that goes beneath that to what actually works. And I just had to share this more widely because this is life changing information. It's literally giving you the keys to finding love and create the life that you want. Like even outside your love life, it applies to everything. So you're gonna get a ton of clarity from this, you know, just obviously why it's so hard for you to find love, but more importantly, what actually works. So there's going to be a hell of a lot of relief for you in this episode. If you've just been like, why is it so hard for me? Why do I struggle so much? What am I doing so wrong and what's wrong with me all of that kind of stuff. It is going to become so clear for you about what it is that you need to do in order to find love. And if what you hear resonates and you want to get deeper into this with me and join your love life overhauled, then the link will be in the show notes as well. It's really about taking you out of what everything that you're experiencing right now. Obviously giving you that big old love life overhaul, but getting you on an actual proven path to love. Like my gosh, who does not want that. So, get excited. Get listening and enjoy this first session of your love life overhauled. Welcome to the loved up effect Podcast. I'm Emily Bucknell, here to get you from demoralized and single to empowered, confident, and in the loving arms of your dream guy, if you're a smart, successful woman with a lot of love to give. But no matter what you do, how hard you try or how much you want to, you just don't seem to be getting any closer to love than you are in the right place. I'm here to answer your biggest and most frustrating questions when it comes to dating love and relationships in a way that no one else will get ready for practical, no BS and powerful AF insights that will lead you to love. Are you ready? Let's get into today's episode. Okay, welcome to session number one of your love life overhaul, you create your reality. Before we get into this, I just want to check in and make sure you've completed your homework inside the pre work because the whole point of this challenge is to get you out of the love life that you have been experiencing gives you the turn of total overhaul. So you need to be taking the action if you want to experience the results, you got to be taking the action to make sure you've done the pre work and the homework for you in there. So obviously you're here because you've been trying to find love for a year, five years, 10 years, decades. For me it was 18 years, until I'm learning until I learned what I'm actually going to be sharing with you inside this challenge that utterly transformed my love life. It's the reason that I've been married for the last five years with two kids the life that I always wanted but seems so hard to have. So inside this session I'm going to give you very likely I'm going to be giving you a very new understanding about life the reality that you're living that you actually create the reality that you live so when you're struggling to find love often what we do generally what we do is go straight into all that mainstream dating advice like the you know Google how to find love the most of the information that comes up like 99% of the information that comes up is all of that stuff like look a certain way wear this on like where I used to always buy into that one wear red dresses on a first date you know act this way make sure you don't reply straightaway to messages be in your feminine energy say this Don't say that. All that kind of stuff. Really surface level stuff. I call that mainstream dating advice. And it's fair enough that that's what we go to I that's what I did. For ages, because that information is frickin everywhere. That is everywhere. What I want you to understand, though, is that mainstream dating advice are following all that advice about like, you have to look a certain way, in order to be attracted to men, you have to follow these dating roles. It's the same as like wanting epic skin, but just relying on makeup. For sure you put makeup on your skin, it's gonna look pretty good. Take it off, nothing's frickin changed, like nothing has actually changed, your skin isn't any better. Same thing with mainstream dating advice, you're gonna get some results like, yeah, you'll go on some dates and have a couple of relationships. But ultimately, it's not what it is that you actually want isn't getting you into your dream relationship. And we all know that if you want better skin, it's all about like the skincare routine that you have, you know, hydration, sleep, the diet, you have gut health, all of that kind of stuff. You know, and you do those things, and you have epic skin. And it doesn't matter whether or not you use makeup. Same thing goes for finding love, we have to go deeper, we have to go into what is actually happening inside you, which I get sounds really vague right now. But we will be getting into like the nitty gritty of this like starting today. What I want you to know is that I am about what works, what gets you real results will get you into not just like a shitty relationship, but your dream relationship. So you stop wasting, like your soul, all this time. And there's energy in this effort taking action that doesn't really change anything for you. I am here to get you on a proven path to love. And I say proven because I started creating without really realizing what is now the love up effects. And that is my proven framework behind everything that I teach. I started creating it nine years ago, when I figured this whole thing out for myself and turned my own love life around. There have now been over 200 women through the loved up effect in the last four years. And it's a pretty incredible success rate. No of the 20 women that first went went through the very first version of the loved up effect for now married three starting families seven in long term relationships. And that's just the women that I've heard from. You know, like I said, success when it comes to finding love having your dream relationship is about going within what's happening inside you. Because it's what's happening inside you that creates your reality. Most people and this was me until I was 31 years old, get this backwards. Some people never understand this. And think that life is just happening to us. It's just these random events that we kind of respond to and try to survive through, which is a totally powerless place to be because it feels like you have no friggin control of your life. It's like all up to chance or luck or whatever, like you're in this game, but you just don't know the rules. Until now, of course. So the first step is really understanding what's actually happening inside you, and how this drives everything that we do, and ultimately creates the reality that you live. So just like the reality that you're living now, it's actually the result literally of what's happening within you. Just like gravity is always do it's doing its thing, you know, whether you're aware of it or not, you don't drop a pen and think, hey, gravity,
you are always creating your reality, whether you're aware of it or not. And before you start saying, Oh, God, so I'm to blame, stop. That is not what I'm saying at all, to steal Maya Angelou words, you've been doing the best that you knew how with what you knew. You know, now you're learning a new way to come at life. Come at your love life in an entirely new way so that you can do better and create better for yourself. I love the quote from Einstein to no problem can be solved by the same level of consciousness that created it, you got a problem. It's about learning a new way to come out that problem, which is exactly what you're doing now. So let's get into it. First thing I want you to understand we have a conscious and an unconscious mind. Our conscious mind takes care of everything that we're actually aware and present of present aware of and present to, you know, all this stuff. Like when you're really concentrating, you're really present. Generally, when you're doing things like a new task, and your conscious mind takes care of like 4% of our brain activity. The other 96% of everything that happens in our brains, happens in our unconscious mind. So we aren't actually even aware that it's happening. So think of the iceberg conscious mind is a tip of the iceberg. Unconscious Mind under the water. Just to give you an example like if you go to a brand new city, and you have to drive across the city, you've never been there before. Like you're gonna be like present to what's happening. You're gonna be using your conscious mind like really concentrating, keeping it all aware, what straight have we just passed? What are we going next all that kind of thing. That's your conscious mind doing that, compared to when you've driven home from work for the 80 million time, you pull into your driveway, and you're like, I don't even remember getting here, that's your unconscious mind taking over. Because the second something becomes familiar. Your unconscious mind says, okay, cool, it's mine. Now, I'll take care of that. Even I love a car analogy, especially for this content. But even when you think about it, when you hop into a car, all you need to do, it's like press the button will turn the key, you turn the ignition on, however, it starts in your car, you know, move the steering wheel pedals, maybe the gear action, some indicator stuff, you know, that's all you're doing. That's like your conscious mind, it's just doing that stuff. Whereas the unconscious mind is like the engine, the second you turn the engine on, there is a hell of a lot of stuff happening that I don't understand. But there's so much more happening there. And this is what I really want you to get a sense of. So your conscious mind is only a teeny tiny bit, what you're aware of right now is only a teeny tiny bit of what is actually happening here within you, and what of what you're experiencing as well. What I want you to understand is that we all have unique programming in our unconscious mind. And we develop this between the ages of zero and seven. So it's heavily influenced by our caregivers, you know, the experiences that we have as children. And it's all of that, that determines what our programming is, you know, the values that we have the way we see ourselves, the way we see the world, the beliefs that we have about life about love, like literally everything. Our unconscious programming then becomes the lens through which we experience life, you know, it'll become more ingrained and shaped according to what it is that we experience as we grow up, like what's actually happening in your love life. It also determines how we function and interact with the world. So like I said, it's unique to us, we all have our own experiences of life. You know, I might have a joke that somebody says, Dan, that's offense, if somebody else finds hilarious, that's a result of their unconscious programming, there's two different kinds of perspectives. Your unconscious programming, it determines the thoughts that you think. So with that joke example, someone's like, Dude, that's offensive. That's the thought somebody else's like that is hilarious. Thoughts, determines how you feel that's funny, that makes me angry, determines the action that you're inspired to take laugh, get mad at me, which then determines the reality that you experience. So your unconscious programming is the source of everything that you experience. 99% of the women that come to me have this belief, I'm not worthy of my dream relationship as I am right now. And some of you are gonna be like, Yes, that's me, some of you. And this will be very interesting. We'll say No, I don't know if that's me. I really want you to understand that so much of this you're not actually aware of. And I love if you're someone and you're, as I talked this example, through, you're like, Damn, that is me. You just like become aware of what's happening in your unconscious mind. And that is epic. So let's get into this example. So you have that belief. I'm not worthy of my dream love exactly as I am right now. That's the programming that you have in your unconscious mind. Then you're gonna be thinking thoughts like this, aren't you all find love when I lose the weight. When I'm more confident. When I'm less emotional. I'll find love when I have a better job. When I move to a different city or a different area. You're going to be thinking things too, like nobody wants me. I'm not attractive enough. I'm not good enough. I'll never have someone that loves me for who I am. It's what you're going to be thinking, isn't it? You you're thinking those thoughts? That's what somebody is saying to you. How does it make you feel freaking awful about yourself? Like you're not good enough? You're gonna be feeling demoralized, sad, powerless, insecure, worried, anxious, all of the things. And when you're feeling that way, what action are you therefore inspired to take when you're feeling awful about yourself? Probably pretty likely that you're hiding. You're hiding yourself in some way. You're not putting yourself out there to date. You're settling for crappy relationships because you don't think you deserve any better than them. You're going to that back to the ex that you know already totally sucks. You know your your action to find love is focused on changing who it is that you are. You're going to be going into like dating encounters hoping that they pick you and forgetting that you have a choice to ringing some bells. And if that's the action that you take, you ain't To be getting any closer to love, if you're all tied up in your ex boyfriends, or you're settling for crappy relationships, you cannot have your dream relationship. And that's going to further ingrain. So you're not getting any closer to love taking that action, get a further ingrain that belief, I'm not worthy of love. And this is how you get stuck in those same patterns. Not being able to let go of the ex attracting the same noncommittal kind of jerks relationships that go nowhere, attracting no one at all. So inside session number three, I'm going to give you this research back tool, which is insanely powerful, that's going to help you break through these patterns. So you've got to stay tuned for that one. What I want you to understand it all this is what's happening in your unconscious is always going to be reflected in your reality. So you may have this biggest ever desire to have your dream relationship. But if you're unconscious program, so if you have that belief, I'm not worthy of love as I am, that's how they are in your unconscious, then you're never going to have that dream relationship because it conflicts it conflicts. And the other part of this is that your unconscious programming, your unconscious mind is actually designed to prove the beliefs that you have true to pull or prove the beliefs that you have about yourself, the way that you see yourself the world to prove all of this is to prove that it's correct.
And this is how it happens in any given moment. We literally have 11 million bits of information coming at us see through all your senses. You know, even just what's happening right now I can hear like when you become present to this, it's like I can hear a car driving down the street, I can hear the like fan on the fire, I can hear the wind there, I can hear the roof kind of cracking. In a good way. There's so much I can hear I can just hear myself moving there, I can see like what's on my screen right now I can the winds just moving the trees there. There's bananas there, the Washington just there that I need to. There's all of this information coming at us 11 million bits of information coming at us in any given moment. Consciously, we can only process 50 bits 50 A teeny tiny percentage of what's actually coming at us. So what your unconscious mind does is it deletes it distort and generalize all this information that's coming at us. That doesn't align with your programming. So if you believe that you aren't worthy of love, exactly as you are right now, then your brain is only going to allow in the information that proves that belief. Correct. So it's going to interpret all your previous relationship breakdowns as due to being something wrong with you, it's going to be focusing on say the lack of guys in your life, what you don't like about yourself. And yes, reality is very frickin seductive. You might be there saying, Yeah, but there aren't any guys in my life, you are only seeing what aligns with your internal programming, that 50 bits. There's a whole other world that's happening outside your internal programming, we are all walking around with these filters in these glasses on that aligns with what's happening here, you change your unconscious programming, you start to change what it is that you see, you start to change your frickin reality. And even you would have experiences to yourself as experienced this yourself as well. When you're thinking of buying something new, like a new pair of shoes, or a bag or a car or whatever. You give that message to your unconscious and you say okay, this car I'm looking at this is now important. Like obviously you don't say that. But when you start like this is you're giving them all this information about this new car, then all of a sudden, isn't it like always the way that all of a sudden, all you see when you're out driving is people in this same kind of car that you want the same color the same, make the same whatever you're like, oh my gosh, I never noticed this before. Because you've told your unconscious, this is now important. So it starts to filter the information differently. Those cars have always been there. It's just that you're starting to change what it is that you want to say and your unconscious goes, Okay, I'll let all of that information in there before it was just irrelevant. You know, taking up brain power for you. The cool bit of this all and I can't wait for you to experience this is it now that we're having this chat about the fact that you create your reality, how powerful your unconscious mind is 100% You're gonna start to see this in, you know, on your social media feed, you're gonna see this like on TV, you might hear people talking about this, this whole concept is gonna start coming up more and more and more and more and more. And I cannot wait for you to experience this. But it's just another way to prove that when you start telling your unconscious mind something different Your reality starts to change. And I love I think so let me know actually let me know how this is sitting with you. If you have any questions, any resistance coming up, let me know in the comments below. But I absolutely love Neale Donald Walsch his quote, it's from his book amazing book Conversations with God. If you don't go within you go without, you have to go into your unconscious mind into what's happening here in order to have what it is that you want. And when you do that, results can happen freakin fast. You know, Carly is one of the women that I mentioned before who's now married, she'd been dating for 10 years, nothing much happening doing over like, This is who I have to be in order to have a guy love me stuff. She went through that first version of the loved up effect. And the section that I had about changing beliefs back then it's . Now step two of the loved up effect called Love yourself. I think back then there was literally only one practice now there's, I think, almost six, soon to be six. And a lot of these are research back like scientifically proven tools to shift what's happening in your unconscious. But that was her favorite thing. She said, I go back to that, like, every day, I go back to those practices. Within six weeks of doing those practices, she met the men that she's now married to, you know, they got married last year, and they're expecting a baby Any moment now, I think, which is very, very exciting. But I want you to understand this, you go within, you create change here, you get the reality that it is that you want. My other like, most favorite bit about all of this is how dim empowering it is. This is you like getting the keys, like learning the rules of life, you know, getting the keys to create the life that you want. You know, I think back to like, it feels so vivid still, think back to like, you know, 1011 years ago, where I felt so powerful, powerless. I felt like I had no control. I was just like, at the whim of life. You know, I was I used to say, Why is this happening to me, I'm so nice. I try so hard, and just want to find love. It's not like it's even something bad. You know, I just felt like I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't have any kind of control. You know, I was focusing on things like I need that guy to message me back, you know, I need him to want me I need to have the relationship, which is all shit that I have no control over. You don't control whether someone calls you back or not, or how somebody feels about you. The only thing you will ever control in your life is what is happening within you. You must did that everything else falls into line. So right now from this moment, you are now in the driver's seat of your life, which you may only just be realizing now. You may also be the same toy took now, which is what I'm here for to teach you how to drive yourself. So you get to that dream relationship. And nothing brings me more joy than empowering you to do that. Because it's through this process through really understanding what's happening within you that you'll become the most confident lit up free at peace fulfilled, most incredible version of you that loves you like you never have. And he's living her best damn life again. And to me the world things so many more women like that, you know, that dream relationship just becomes the inevitable and very awesome cherry on the top of all of that. So let's get started right now taking the steps that will start you creating the reality that it is that you want. And I'm going to continue with some car analogies, because you're sitting in his car right now like about to drive. But before we start driving, you got to get a bit of an idea about the car that you're actually driving. And this is what we do straight up in step number one of the loved up effect released yourself start developing this internal awareness. Like you need to know what's happening here. So you know what you need to change and your emotional state so your energy, your emotions are our window into it all. Obviously, you're here because things aren't great in your love life. likely that you're feeling a hell of a lot of worry, anxiety, frustration, sadness, anger, pain, heartbreak, desperation, disappointed this powerlessness, like all of the things are all completely and utterly understandable. What I want you to understand is that these emotions are like the warning lights that flash on your dash, letting you know that like if you don't pay attention to the fact that you have no oil or no fuel, or something's overheating, whatever it happens to be, then you're not actually going to get to where it is that you want to be. So your emotions are saying pay attention to something that is happening here. So we can have the dream relationship. Your emotions aren't just there to make you feel a certain way. What are really want you to understand and take a more objective view of your emotions as the reason the motivation for you to take action. Pain is the biggest freakin motivator there is use and just think of this in terms of a physical sense. You stick your hand on a hot stove cane gets you don't move your hand away, if you didn't feel pain, you just leave your hand there and your hand would get burned. Pain is the biggest action motivator. It's why you're here. You're taking action right now high fives to you to relieve the pain that you've been feeling. And it's really important to also note here that the action if you're taking action, and this is why that homework inside the pre work is so important. If you've been taking action right now, that's only causing you to be in situations that cause you more pain than you're taking the wrong action. And I want you to understand this pain will only get worse what you're experiencing right now, it will only get worse until you become aware and do something about the cause of it within you. Really simply though, when you start to feel good and when you're feeling good, then all you then that's all you need to know that you're on the right track. feel like crap.
Then there's action that needs to be taken, reprogramming your unconscious mind, shifting energy that's there. And again, I want to say this isn't about bringing judgment because I think a lot of people go there I used to follow perfectionists. But that like oh my gosh, I'm feeling awful. Now I've fucked everything up by feeling this way. excuse this swearing. But this isn't about bringing judgment. It's about seeing these emotions objectively and saying okay, well, the lights on on my car, I need fuel. I need fuel, don't get mad about it. Emotions are there to take get you to take action. So it's like, okay, I'm feeling frickin angry. It's to get you to take action. So your homework for today is to really think about your love life. Think about that lover of yours. What emotions what energy, what feelings come up for you. And I'm gonna make this super easy for you. Bloody handy tool, Abraham Hicks emotional guidance scale. You'll see in the comments below for download. And you'll see on it it's like literally a list of emotions. Let your intuition guide you to the one that really does speak to you. It's not about beat. There's no right there's no wrong it's like just what is and the more you can let your intuition guide you the more you can be honest, the frickin better. But you'll see the lowest vibration fear, grief, desperation, despair, powerlessness, that is merely a sign that there's stuff happening in your unconscious that we need to reprogram stuff that's keeping you stuck, stuck experiencing all the shit you don't want to be experiencing. You know, all that build those beliefs like I'm not worthy of love, love isn't going to happen for me, there's nobody left for me to date. If I find love, I'm just kidding. It's all gonna end anyway. So like I said, I'm going to be taking you through an incredible tool inside session number three to start reprogramming that stuff. And then if you look at the other end of the scale, you know, there's higher vibrational emotions like love, excitement, all of that kind of stuff. It comes from thoughts like comes from that unconscious programming I am loved, I'm worthy of the most incredible love. But dream love is inevitable. Life is incredible. It's all of that stuff, which allows you to feel that way. So how were you feeling? And I really encourage you to like it's a okay, if you just, you know, start to become aware of how it is that you're feeling. But also see if you can start to ask the questions like what are the thoughts that I'm having behind these feelings. That is some pretty freakin powerful clarity there. You start to find all of the answers when you go within. It's we're not going here inside this challenge. But it's also worth noting and mentioning that your emotions are actually the energy that you're putting out into the world. So a lot of you might be already familiar with the law of vibration law of attraction, you know, that like attracts like, you know, we're all made up of energy in a constant state of motion and that motion is determined by our energy. So like all attract, like, what I want you to understand is that once you've gone through, release yourself, and you have this kind of awareness of your emotional that energetic state, then the next step is about clearing your energy bringing in inner healing, connecting to love, you know and grounding which enables you to move to that higher vibrational place where you attract better into your life and there's women that literally from step one of the loved up effect, like have attracted incredible relationships in but it's through this process that it you become able to see more clearly the programming that you have in your unconscious that is no longer so Loving You. And that's when we move into step two of the love of the loved up effect love yourself and get into rewiring what's happening in your unconscious? So yeah, I have, it's really clear now that what you're learning here is not the same old mainstream dating advice, like you want incredible skin, you go beneath what you can see, you want to find love, you got to go beneath what you can see as well. So let me know in the comments below where you're at on the emotional guidance scale. And remember, it's not about judgment, it's just about what is. And you really need to do this because inside the next session inside session number two, we need this information, because we're going to replace this probably not so helpful energy with insanely potent energy that comes from your soul desire. So we're tapping into that dream, the energy of that dream relationship of yours, getting you out of fear and into excitement, just a bit of a sneak peek, so that you feel like I really want you to get a sense of how empowering this path is, how lit up how excited all of the good things like this is what's coming for you in session number two. And it's through this practice and through going into your soul desire that you're also going to gain some really powerful insights into what stops most women, and that is fear. And I can guarantee if you're at the wall, I know if you're at the lower end of the emotional guidance scale, then you're being driven by fear right now and not love and that is stopping you from finding love. So in session number two, we're going to start to get you out of that place. So super excited for that. So let me know below where you're at on the emotional guidance scale. If you have any questions at all, let me know and I shall see you in session number two.
