If you're at a point where you feel like it might be easier to give up on love, you're that exhausted and soul destroyed by wanting it so badly, trying so hard and only having more heartbreak and disappointment to show for it. Like, why is it so hard for you to find love when it seems so easy for everybody else around you, then listen up. Because there is a reason that you feel that way. It's because the action that you're taking right now, it simply isn't working. Way too often I meet women who are suffering, feeling awful about themselves in their lives, because despite doing everything that you're supposed to do to find love, like wearing your hair down red dresses on first date so that you're the attractive woman you think men want. We're following the never ending dating rules like never responding to a text immediately, making sure you're on Bumble instead of Tinder. Nothing changes for you. And that's because you've been told that taking that kind of action is all you need to do to find love that it's simply a matter of time luck, or the stars aligning and and it will happen. So you just keep at it. Even though taking this action feels awful, and it's getting you nowhere, that stops now, because as I've discovered and have now shared with 10s of 1000s of women, there is an entirely different way to go about finding love. One that builds you up empowers you feels like the most magnificent breath of fresh air and best of all it works. If you've been actively trying to find love for the last year and you're no closer to having it. Then click the link in my show notes and get yourself into my no BS workshop. Your love life overhauled right this second, and learn what you need to do to actually find love, it will change everything for you.
Welcome to the loved up effect Podcast. I'm Emily Buckner, here to get you from demoralized and single to empowered, confident, and in the loving arms of your dream guy, if you're a smart, successful woman with a lot of love to give, but no matter what you do, how hard you try or how much you want to, you just don't seem to be getting any closer to love than you are in the right place. I'm here to answer your biggest and most frustrating questions when it comes to dating love and relationships in a way that no one else will get ready for practical, no BS and powerful A F insights that will lead you to love. Are you ready? Let's get into today's episode.
Why am I still single? So this could be quite likely a question that you're asking yourself. And if you are asking yourself these questions, then this episode is for you. Because I'm going to answer that, I'm going to tell you why you are still single. And this comes off a question that I actually got asked somebody sent me a couple of weeks ago now. But really her situation is so common, like so common. You know, it hasn't come across anyone decent in over 10 years.
You know, men who say, Gee, I'm looking for a relationship, but ultimately when they come down to having that kind of conversation, it's like no, no, I don't actually want that kind of commitment, using their age health, that kind of stuff as an excuse, like saying, No, I can't commit because of these things. But they want to keep dating without the commitment that she's really looking for. And I think this is such a common situation that I hear all the time from women where it's like, there's no one left, or I'm stuck in this kind of pattern where I'm attracting these guys. And this is where it goes. And it's just the same kind of thing happening over and over again. So what we're gonna get into today is really, I'm going to break down exactly what you need to do to change this experience. Like why this actually happens? Why it's like, and honestly, I want you to even right now does take a minute to stop and say like, what do I keep experiencing in my love life? What pattern just kind of keeps on happening? Because there's a reason for it. And when you pull out this reason, everything change changes. So I also want to say a massive thank you for the person who asked this question, because I know that this conversation that we're about to have, it's going to help a lot of women, I really want to say again, and I can never say this enough, that you're not alone in what you're going through. You may be you know, in a situation where all your friends are coupled up and all of that kind of stuff. But there are millions of women who are in this kind of situation asking these questions saying like, why does this keep happening to me? Why am I still single? So if you have a question, then ask away, I am happy to answer them anonymously as I am today. But just know that in asking it, you're not only helping yourself, but you're helping so many other women.
And I think the thing that I absolutely love about this question too.
And particularly when you're asking that question, like why am I still single, you know, even just in asking that I can see that you know that there's something going on here and there is like there's a reason
Isn't that everything happens and finding out what that reason is, is your key to moving forward? We talked about this a lot last in the previous episode, you know, the fact that everything that happens has a cause, that you're never really unlucky in love, because there's a cause behind everything that you're experiencing. So if you haven't listened to that episode already, I highly recommend that you do that as well.
And it often I think the other thing I want to say, just about this question, before we get into pulling it all apart,
it often takes a long time for us to start asking these kinds of questions. You know, and I don't tend to get these questions, we don't really ask these kinds of questions until it has been a long time that you've been experiencing this for, you know, where you start to say, Okay, there's something, there's got to be something going on here. Or you're at that kind of place where it's like, the same thing happens over and over and over and over again, the same kind of pattern, you're attracting the same kind of guys, you have the same kind of situation ships that you know, the second you have that kind of conversation or they say, Yes, I want a relationship, then it all kind of falls to pieces, or the second you sleep with them. It's like no, okay, no, I don't want that. And they just ghost you and disappear. So really, again, just kind of stop and say, Okay, what's really playing out in my life all the time? Like, what's that kind of patent that I'm stuck in?
Or you could be someone and you're sort of looking around, and you're like, hey, nobody else is really experiencing this. Like, why am I experiencing this? And it really does. It's those kinds of three things like experiencing something for a long time, you know, starting to kind of click, I'm stuck in this pattern, this same kind of thing happens, or you look around, you're like, Okay, this isn't what everybody else is doing. Really, it really inspires you to ask these questions and start digging a little deeper. So I love if you're actually asking those questions. I love it, because it's our way into kind of pulling it all apart and saying, Well, let's get you going on the right track, you know, because obviously, something isn't happening. Something isn't kind of clicking in the background here, I think is really insanely important to talk about, especially when we ask that question like, why am I still single? Where most people usually go with this question? When it's like, why am I still single, where most people go and where I used to go back in the day to, is to this like, well, there must be something wrong with me. You know, I'm not attractive enough. I'm too emotional. I'm too old. I'm not confident enough. I'm bad at dating. I slept with them too soon. I was too vulnerable. Bla bla, bla, bla bla, I'm not good in relationships. It's my anxious attachments, like all of this kind of stuff. It's me, I am the problem. It's me.
Which makes you feel horrible about your stuff. See yourself, doesn't it? Like if you like, Okay, the reason that you're literally having this conversation with yourself where you're like, Okay, you asked the question, why am I still single? And then the answer that you give yourself, it's because because I'm not good enough, because I put on extra weight, because I don't look like how I think I'm supposed to look like because I have wrinkles, because my hair is a certain color. Because I don't, I'm not interested in this thing. Or I'm really bad at that, or I'm not confident or I'm insecure. And then you just like pull yourself to pieces, which makes you feel horrible about yourself. And then the action that you take from that place. And this is what I see so many women do, then the action you're taking to find love becomes all about trying to fit some mold of who you think you have to be. So it's like, okay, if you're saying to yourself, you're a student, you're the thing that's wrong with you, like you put on too much weight recently, like your body doesn't look the way it's supposed to look. And then your action that you start taking, because you think it's gonna get you closer to love. It's like, well, I'll go to the gym all the time, or I'll exercise or I'll put myself on some kind of diet. Or it's like, I'm not attractive enough. So I better like Google. This is what I used to do. Google like, what? What do men find attractive? Okay, well, I'll wear red dresses on first dates, I'll have my hair down, I'll have my makeup a certain way. Like, I don't usually even makeup. I'm not a big makeup person. But all of that kind of stuff. It's like that becomes your action. It's like, well, if it's something wrong with me, I'll fix myself. So therefore so then I can be loved. You know? And like I've talked about a lot, you know, when when you're not showing up as you when you're like, okay, the who I am isn't good enough who I am is clearly not good enough. It's who I am. It's the reason that I'm still single. Then you start and you're taking this kind of action where it's like, Okay, well I'll be who I think I have to be, rather than who you are being it's never gonna get you into the relationship that you that you want. Because ultimately like you think about it, that dream relationship that you want. What you really want is to be loved for exactly who you are. You
Oh, I'm real. I did ages ago on Instagram, where I had this moment like I had this moment and I was like, This is what I mean you want to be
Love for exactly who you are and totally comfortable being exactly who you are. So there was this moment.
Oh, a while ago where I was I just got up in the morning I was like, I'm gonna go do some gardening. And I like literally hadn't brush my teeth I was wearing these like leggings that I have that I usually like painting and stuff that they like covered in paint splatters, they see through wishes here, I that was one of those leggings where you think oh, these are not see these are not like see through. And then I wore them quite a few places. And my husband's like those things are see through I was like, okay, these will be at home leggings. So wearing them with like bed socks and shoes and this like ugly hat that I have, because it's like really sun protective. And I love that kind of stuff. At the moment, when I'm brushing my teeth, all this kind of stuff. And my husband was that type cat just came up to talk to me about something and like was on his merry way, like didn't even like bat an eyelid that I looked like some kind of a homeless person hadn't brush my teeth, any of that kind of stuff. And that's the kind of love that I want you all to experience or it's like, you can just be you and it doesn't matter. You don't have to put on some kind of show. But if you're busy, like yes, you know, I wouldn't show up first day, looking like that. It's like, okay, but look how you want to look, it's not like look like you how you think you need to look, look what in a way that makes you feel really good.
That that's the kind of love that I want for you where you are loved. And it's not someone who's like, Whoa, what the free happened to you. You know, you want to be loved and accepted for exactly who you are. But if you are busy, like you've gone to down this conversation, where it's like, there's something wrong with me. And so you're showing up on dates as who it is you think you have to be, then the incredible guys never actually get to meet the real you they just get to meet this like version of you that you think you have to be. And it gets you absolutely nowhere. So if you're someone, honestly, if you're someone and you're like already looking at those patterns that you have, like who it is that you're attracting, if you're constantly attracting potentially the guys that seem more interested, and then it all fades away to nothing the guys that don't want to commit all of those kinds of stuff that guys it seemed quite superficial, all those sorts of things, if you're attracting those ones, and I can almost guarantee that this is where you're going when it comes to like the action that you're taking. In order to find love. It's like I've got to change myself in order to be loved.
And I think I had a big breakthrough. Like just as a as a dating coach, really, when someone Niomi absolutely incredible person, she was one of the first people to go through what is now the loved up effect. So that's the framework that's behind everything that I teach. So she and all my beautiful people all my who went through it was called love life back in the day. But who went through that in the beginning, like, I learned so much like with you guys. So thank you. I know some of you are listening. So she was one of the first women to go through what is now the loved up effect. And she had this
ended up in a relationship really quickly afterwards, which was absolutely epic. But what she kind of I asked her, you know, obviously with people just going through the program, I was like, would love your feedback or that kind of stuff. And she said, it really was like she had this she had this big breakthrough moment where she was like, I was like back I forget the total details of her story, but you'll understand
that she was like, Okay, someone in her past and said, I don't know if it was a guy that she dated, I can't remember but someone in her past had said, like the way that you laugh is really annoying, or some kind of comment about the way that she laughed when she took on and was like, Oh God, like, I better not laugh That way when I'm with, you know, guys and dating and all of that kind of stuff. So she was like, well, better not do that. Even though that's like how she naturally lost. So she stopped doing all of those kinds of things. And she said, you know, she was showing up like she spent ages dating, like trying to fit that mold of what you think you need to be just getting crappy results, crappy results, crappy results, crappy results.
But you know, the work that we did together, it was back then really big focus on kind of self love and confidence and all of that sort of thing. It has evolved to have that along with a hell of a lot more inside the loved have loved up perfect, but she really got to this point where she's like, Hey, this isn't working. I'm just gonna start showing up as me met this incredible guy. And I just get chills every time I say this because it's just
but I'll say it and it'll tell you why I get chills but this guy said like when he said he loved her. He's like I love your love. Like that's the thing that he loves about her. You know they're still together welcomed in a beautiful baby boy to their family last year like just incredible. Like it's incredible when you can let that stuff go. And I think the universe that's why I get chills because I'm like the universe just smiles on you.
is like, Okay, this is what you need to do. So hopefully that story gave you chills do I love it? I absolutely love it. But I think there's that big message. So anybody out there right now, like,
I really want you to know this and really listen to this, there is nothing wrong with you. If you're asking that question, why am I still single and you're going down that path, it's because something's wrong with me if that's what you're thinking, this is what I want you to know, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, you are not the problem, you are not the problem.
Despite what Taylor Swift says, You are not the problem. In fact, there isn't actually a problem, which is what you're going to start to see when you understand what's actually happening here and how life works. So I think I've talked about this in a previous episode. But the fact that you have this desire, so you have this desire to have, you know, incredible relationship, whatever it looks like, and feels like to you, you have this desire, because it's meant to be yours. It is meant to be yours. If it wasn't meant to be yours, then you wouldn't have the desire. And desire is what puts everything in motion. You have this desire, and then like life, God universe, source, whatever you want to call it. It's like all on board wanting you to have it despite what you may be thinking right? Now you have this desire, and then, you know, power bigger than us says, Okay, well, let's make this thing happen. You know, your desire is what puts everything in motion. It's like turning the universe on and saying, okay, like, this is what I want. The Universe says, Okay, well, let me help you have it.
And I know some people even I know, I used to have some resistance to come up to that, like where it's like, yeah, just because I have a desire, it doesn't mean I'm actually going to have it. But like, you probably don't have the desire to be, you know, a Formula One racecar driver. And so therefore, there's nothing happening in your life related to turning you into a Formula One racecar driver, you know, because simply because you don't have the desire, desire, if you did have the desire, then the stuff would be happening in your life to help that happen for you.
So next step is really about getting all quantum physics see on you, you know, you've probably heard and like, I've struggled getting to quantum physics, see, I'm like, Whoa, that's been in my mind way too much. So we're gonna stay like pretty simple kind of concepts like and you've probably heard time is an illusion, you know, everything, every possibility of every kind of experience of everything. It all exists right now, time is just this illusion,
you know, you in your dream relationship actually does exist out there in the quantum, it's just that you're not experiencing, right, you're not just not experiencing it right now. Because you're not that version of you, that has the dream relationship yet.
So in order to have the dream relationship, a massive part of what I help women do through the loved up effect, is really stepping into that version of you, that does have the relationship.
And this is not like this is going to that deeper level, as I'll speak about in a second. But first of all, I get that this can sound like maybe a bit insane, a bit woowoo. But it's gonna make sense. And I'll give you what this kind of means in a really practical perspective by the end of the episode. So you can be like, Oh, okay, I get what's actually happening here. But just to kind of give you a bit of a more of an understanding about what I mean about turning into a different one not turning, but like stepping into a different version of yourself, because there is this version of you out there that has that relationship that is just like lighting you up like nobody's business, you know, so my daughter is six, and she just started school at the beginning of this year.
And while yes, she's fundamentally the same person, she's totally different than, you know, who she was when she was six months old. And she's totally different now than who she's going to be when she starts high school. You know, there are things that we need to learn to get a job become independent, you know, independently functioning, productive members of society. And the same really goes for relationships. If you look back to like the first relationship, or the first kind of crush that you had, you know, it's all a man learning experience. You know, I remember my first boyfriend I thought he was, I thought he was cool.
That's a weird thing to say. But I was like, Yeah, I like him. I think I think I like him. He was very good at buying me flowers. Like every week. I got roses from him. It was very lovely. You know, but I think I was like, I don't know if this is necessarily the guy for me. But anyway, he dumped me. And like just I was like, What? No
never felt any like that quite that bad in my entire life. You know, my lovely dad got me flowers, it was so very cute. But it's a massive learning experience. And I think if you look at all the relationships that you've had, and even if you haven't had a huge amount of relationships, even the interactions, and the, you know, dating and all of that kind of stuff, you learn, like, there's so much to learn. I remember dating, I used to feel like, Oh, my God, like this is like, as a pain, I was a painfully shy child growing up, probably, probably until I was about seven or something, and then kind of came out of my shell. But you know, a lot of that same kind of stuff came up, when I started getting out there and dating, I'm like, Oh, this is not what I want to do. But I learned how to like change my perspective on it. So I felt better, when I'm doing it felt more confident, all of that kind of stuff. It's all a learning experience. So again, you have the desire to find love, because it is possible for you, in order to have it, you have to become the version of you that has it now that has it now, like that version, like even just close your eyes for a second and pitch it the version of you that is in that relationship. And despite how it might feel like I said, the universe live God source, whatever you want to call it, that big old power out there, it's on your side, and it's helping you through the experiences that you're having right now become that version of you, that has the relationship, it's like you put that desire out there, the universe is, okay, I'll give you what you need to become the version of you that has that epic relationship that you want, there is simply stuff that you need to learn ways that you need to grow, stuff that you need to release, let go of, you know, all that heavy kind of stuff that we tend to carry around, in order to become the version of you that has a relationship of your dreams. I'll say that, again. There's simply stuff that you need to learn ways in which you need to grow, you know, all the pain from the past and the heavy kind of all that stuff that you just need to release, let go of, you know, ex boyfriends also, that you might be holding on to all of that stuff, you have to let it go in order to become the version of you that has your dream relationship, you step into the version of you that has that dream relationship, that relationship will appear. You know, and this is very different, I want to make this really, really clear, this is very different from trying to look or act in a certain way in order to find love, you know, all that kind of superficially type stuff that I talked about before, like trying to be who you think men want, like physically attractive, playing hard to get, you know, flirty, never responding to text messages straightaway, not speaking your needs. So you don't seem needy and desperate, all of that kind of like superficial layer stuff. You know, I kind of think of that stuff is like, say you want to have like who doesn't. So you want to have like incredible looking skin. All are taking all that kind of action is really the same as wearing makeup, like Yeah, it may look make your skin look great while you're wearing the makeup, but your skin hasn't actually become incredible. You know, like you can do all those things that I mentioned above, like, okay, like, you know,
we're like trying to lose weight and look a certain way and act a certain way and be on the right apps with the right stuff written in your dating profile and all that kind of crap. You can do all of that stuff. And you might get some results dating, like, likes the person who asked his question like you might meet some people, but they have relationships never really go anywhere. Where you're constantly try attracting these guys you're like, really
no, are you ain't got what I want.
But it isn't ever going to be that kind of love that you really want. You know, that really beautiful love and that incredible guy that you actually want to attract. If you want to have incredible skin, it's about going to what really matters. You know, your diet, drinking water, your gut health, like the skincare routine that you have getting enough sleep, all of that kind of stuff, you know, and when you do all of that stuff, you get to a point where you don't actually need to wear makeup, like where your skin is so friggin amazing, you know, makeup doesn't actually add much to it. And the same thing, if you want to find love, you've got to go deeper, you have to go deeper to what really matters, how you feel, your energy, what you're holding on to energetically everything that and everything that's happening even beneath dad, to the way that your unconscious mind is wired, the way that you see yourself, the world the beliefs you hold, you know, the patterns and the habits that you just have that you're not aware of right now. You know, it really comes down to that quote and I used to think this quote was like, not what I think it is now, you know, be the change you want to see. I used to think I was like, oh, okay, cool. If I recycle, everybody else will recycle. I don't know why I always think of it in terms of like an umbrella.
For a mental thing, it's weird. But Be the change that you want to see. Like be you have to have the change happening here within you. So you can see it in your reality. So I hope that distinction is really clear, like becoming the version of you that has your dream or relationship. It's all about your own personal and specific internal growth and development. And like I said, So live God's source universe, whatever you want to call it, it's actually working with you. It's getting you to grow in specific ways, so that you can have your dream relationship. So just to use me as an example, like back in the day constantly attracting the non committal party boys.
They were lots of fun, but guys that I knew, I knew they're never going to give me the kind of relationship that I wanted.
And then I kinda like it just kept happening. I'm stuck in this pattern stuck in this pattern stuck in this pattern. And it's about saying, Okay, why is this happening? What could life be trying to teach me here? How do I need to grow? What do I need to let go of? What's stopping me here? Why is the gateways my reality, what I keep attracting the same frickin thing, all of the time, what I discovered, I had a whole lot of stuff happening under the surface, you know, this belief, massive belief that I wasn't worthy of having that incredible relationship, you know, a lot of that conversation, they're like, if you're someone and you're like, Damn, I'm having that conversation, like, what's wrong with me. And that's the action that I'm taking to find love to make myself worthy of love that Hello. But you have that belief that you're not worthy of love, that's where your work needs to be. That's the action that you need to take is to shift that belief. You know, and I because I was like, No, I'm not worthy of that big glove. Obviously, I want to make this really clear, too. This is stuff that happens unconsciously, until you bring like your awareness to it. So you're not going to be aware, like even having this conversation, it's going to like light that light bulb up for some of you where you're like, oh my god, this is like resonating. Listen to that, because so much power, when you start to realize what's actually happening within you. But so I had this belief, I'm not really worthy of that big love, it's not really going to happen for me, you know, I'm this, I'm that I'm all that kind of stuff. And this is why I was always settling for these guys that I knew were never gonna give me the kind of relationship that I wanted. And then when they all dumped me, as they all did,
I was totally unable to ever fully let them go, you know, because it was like, Okay, if I don't have them, then I'm gonna have nothing, I'm not worthy of love. So I'm not going to have anything, I'll cling to what I have now.
So it was all about really wait, rewiring that belief among many others.
You know, because you simply can't have what you're worthy of what you don't believe that you're worthy of sorry, you simply can't have what you believe or don't believe you're worthy of if you want to have that big love, then you have to have the belief that it's possible for you that you are worthy of it. Otherwise, the action that you take, it's always going to be in alignment with the beliefs that you hold, you know, you're going to be hanging on, you know, I'm not sure specifically what's happening for the person that asked this question, but it's like, okay, if the guy say, Okay, I don't want to commit to you, but I'll still date and then you do, like you're blocking off that opportunity for somebody else to come in.
So now, hopefully, you've got a bit more of an understanding of how life works, that life is actually like, trying to be friends with you. It's like, Dude, you have the desire, I'll give you what you need to become the version of you that has this relationship. It is on your side, it is giving you what you need, through the experiences that you're having the challenges that come your way, it's giving you what you need to become the version of you, that has your dream relationship so that you can have your dream relationship.
You know, you're in this really powerful kind of place. And I know, I know, I know, you know, if you're someone just continually attracting the same kind of guys that just aren't what you want, that only want one thing or say they want the relationship and then don't actually want the relationship. If you're in those same experiences where you get all excited about someone, then a couple of months later, they ghost you, all of this kind of stuff.
What I want you to understand is that so often when we're in that kind of situation, we don't realize that this is actually life trying to help us learn something, you know, that life is trying to guide you to help you learn and grow. So, so often, and this is what I used to do, too, you know, you have these kinds of experiences and you just go oh my god, it's not actually possible for me. I'm never going to find love. It's never going to happen for me.
You know, it's like because you're attracting all the jerks. Then you
Can't have love. And that's where we so often go as well. It's like, this is the experience that happens. And it's really like taking kind of a not really seeing how life is trying to help you. It's really and I used to say this all the freakin time. Like, Why is life so mean to me? Why is life so mean to me? Why is life so harsh? I mean, why does it never give me what I want, it's because I wasn't seeing the lessons in it all. And when you say that, when you have that kind of
I want to say attitude, like perspective on life, you know, then it really is cutting off the opportunities that you have for growth and to become the version of you that has your relationship. If you're saying life is so mean to me, like I was, you know, I'm only attracting these jerks, or I'm not attracting anybody at all. I'm never going to attract anybody. If this is the kind of story that you're saying to yourself, then you're really it's it's sealing your own fate. Like, everything, the stories that you tell the beliefs that you hold all that stuff that's happening deep in your unconscious, it's creating your reality. So really start to also bring awareness to like just the stuff that you're saying.
Are you like me, you know, there this is what's wrong with me, live is so mean, to me, it's keeping you stuck exactly where you are. As opposed to what I want you all to start doing. Like just even if it is, like, now you do it, and then you like just the second actually, the second that you start doing this, you're gonna find more moments to start doing this. So when you have those challenging experiences, like when you like, Ah, another guy that just friggin ghosted me or just attracted another guy, that's this, or that's that, or that's what, or there's nobody that I'm attracting, start asking, instead of going down that path of like, why is live so mean, to me? It's also hard, I'm never gonna find love. Start asking, What could this be teaching me? Where's the lesson here? What do I need to learn?
You know, and there's a ton, like an absolute ton of practices and tools inside the loved up effect, you know, that help you go into this internal inquiry, but just start right now. Like, we go deep into all this stuff, it's so much fun. And I'm like, in a really specific way for you as well, because there's different stuff happening within all of us. But it's about finding what's happening, that story and that wiring in your unconscious that's happening there for you. But just as I start asking these questions, you know, what could this be teaching me? Where's the lesson here? What can I learn from this? And I want you to know that you will get an answer. Anytime you ask a question, your unconscious mind is going to get you the answer. It's like a dog with a bone, you ask it a question, it will find the answer for you, it might be straight away, it might be down the track, you might have that kind of intuition, internal knowing where it just hits you one day, like a couple of days later, it might be somebody else talking about some situation that they had similar to yours. And then, you know, you're like, Oh my God, that's exactly what I need to learn here too. You might have at listening to this podcast, or that kind of stuff, but you put these questions out there, you know, some of a ton more tools that we use inside the loved up effect get these kinds of answers out as well. And then it's about actually learning the lessons. So putting it into practice taking action. You know, for me, it was like Okay, let's stop freakin settling. You know, when the guy that wasn't gonna give you the relationship don't like dumps you like don't then go back for more. Let's let go of him.
Hands up, hands up. Anybody struggling with that? I will have an episode on that coming up very soon. But it's like Stop settling. Okay, is it starts starting to prioritize your own needs? Is it falling into like a whole new relationship with the universe and trusting the process? I'm doing a lot more of that myself at the moment. Is it shifting your beliefs? Are they aligned with the version of you that has the relationship if you're new to me then oh my gosh, this is where we need to go. You know, the beliefs you know that are all about the best of you. You know, that believes the best of you love the universe, the world life, it's like really empowered, is about stepping into the energy of you that has a relationship who feels loved up happy, as excited confident as opposed to how it is that you feel now, you know,
this is like seriously, this is really kind of an epic little summary of what we do together inside the loved up effect like really figuring out what you need to do to find your love. So saying, Okay, well, if this is what I'm experiencing in my life, let's work with life. Let's say okay, well, where like it's showing you it's like okay, everything you
Your experience is is really a lesson in some ways is is the universe talking to you and saying, if you want that relationship, here's, you know, even like, random example, doesn't even have to be related to your love life. But if there's something else that's coming up in your life, all the time, it's about saying, okay, like, all aspects of your life are connected, you know, if your work environment is just not what you want it to be, then it's about bringing a dip or you know, you get to work and you get stressed or angry, or whatever it happens to be or, you know, you just have that kind of like, feeling every time you go, then it's about saying, How can you shift the energy there. So it moves into your love life as well. But we'll get into that in a whole other episode, I could talk forever.
But this is what we do. It's about figuring out looking at your own life and saying, Okay, what's happening for you, let's find lessons here, let's put all of this into practice. Let's go into your unconscious, let's figure out what's happening there. So that you can have what it is that you want, let's get you into that version of you that has that dream relationship. And then quantum physics it comes, it will come that is like the secret to the whole manifestation have what it is that you want, become the version of you that has it. But like at the deepest level. So again, this isn't about what you look like, this isn't about the dating action that you take, it's about who it is that you are the learning the growth, the development that you need, in order to become, you know, the version of you that has the relationship. So to really plainly answer the question, why am I still single? Literally, it's because until now, you've been ignoring the lessons or the opportunities for growth that life has given you. And it's not, I want like, sometimes some of the stuff has died. I'm like, oh, that sounds harsh. So I apologize if that sounds harsh, you know, but because until now, you haven't realized that life is on your side, life is on your side life is giving you these experiences and these opportunities for growth, so that you can have the relationship that it is that you want. And again, I look back on all my relationships. And I remember, my mom's hairdresser said this to me as a teenager. She's like, every single, you know, relationship that you have, they get better and they get better, and they get better. And I look back and the same thing happened because you learn stuff along the way. So start by asking how is life helping you grow. And this really is that window into breaking those patterns that you're currently stuck in, you know, those patterns that you're currently experiencing, attracting the same guy as attracting no one at all. Having those same experiences when you're out there dating, this is how the window in to shifting all of that. So you're experiencing you experience something entirely different. So if this was helpful for you, or if this is like, you're like, Wow, this is an offer isn't at all what I expected, then I would love to chat with you more like honestly, nothing brings me more joy than really helping you understand this stuff. Because when you do and when you know how to implement this stuff, and when you have the tools behind you in this kind of knowledge, and you're taking this action, like you get to where it is that you want to be. So let me know if you have any questions at all. If you found this helpful, please, please, please leave me a review. I would absolutely love that. If you have a question for me, too, that you'd love for me to answer on the podcast. There's a link below in the show notes. And do not forget to join my new workshop your love life overhauled, it really goes into deeper what I've spoken about today, and will give you some insanely practical action steps as well to take
like seriously, if you've been like the last year, you've been actively trying to find love and it's not happening for you, then this workshop is for you because what you're doing isn't working. Like it isn't working. And it's not your fault that it's not working. There is so much misinformation out there about what you need to do to find love. And I intend to write that I intend to make it Alright, so you don't have to suffer any longer just putting your heart and soul into finding love and getting friggin nowhere except feeling awful about yourself which we talked about today as well. So hopefully that was helpful for you reach out if you have any questions come follow me on Instagram. I always love getting DMS from you guys as well. Otherwise I shall see you not see you chat to you next week.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
