Welcome to The Loved Up Effect Podcast. I'm Emily Bucknell here to get you from demoralized and single, to empowered, confident and in the loving arms of your absolute dream guy, if you're a smart, successful woman with a lot of love to give, but no matter what you do, how hard you try or how much you want it, you just don't seem to be getting any closer to love than you are in the right place. Because I'm here to answer your biggest and most frustrating questions when it comes to dating loving relationships in a way that no one else will. So get ready for practical, no BS and powerful eight of insights that are going to lead you to love. Are you ready? Let's get into today's episode.
Welcome to episode number one of the loved up effect podcast, I am beyond excited to be here and have you listening. Because this podcast honestly it has been like years in the making. You know, even when I first got into this work as a dating and love Coach, I was like, Okay, have the podcast have the have the podcast, it's kind of an idea of floated a few times had lots of people say to me, like you need to put all of this into a podcast. I've listened to it religiously. But finally, it's happened.
And I really wanted to kick this podcast off really answering the question like, What is this podcast gonna do for you, because this is honestly, it's probably the reason that I've taken so long to launch a podcast is that I really want it to be something special, helpful for you. And not just to have a podcast for the sake of having a podcast. I really want this to be valuable for you to help you in, you know, whatever way it happens to help you. And the main reason like I've kind of been saying at the beginning of the year, I was like, Yeah, let's do the podcast, Emily, let's do the podcast. And just in the last week or so I was like not, I need to just do this now. And really, the reason that I've decided to go for it now is because of you. Because the reason that I'm here my whole purpose, honestly, my whole purpose in life, and the work that I do is to help you to end that kind of suffering that you're feeling. Because I have been exactly where you are now, you know, I spent 18 years 18 years feeling that same kind of pain that I know that you're feeling right now. Just to give you a bit of background and into my story. So you know why I'm here, how I got here, all that kind of stuff, and how I can actually help you. You know, back in high school. Kind of like your seven year eight, like I went to an all girls school, and some of my friends went to this party on the weekend. And I didn't go to it for what I can't even remember what reason. But on Monday, when everybody got to school, it was all like talking about boys and this guy and bla bla bla bla bla, and I'm from that point forward, I always felt like I was falling behind everybody else. You know, I just wasn't at that place where they all were I wasn't part of those conversations anymore. And I felt like holy crap, you're not okay, because you, you don't have a guy that likes you. And all of this sort of stuff came up for me. And it's funny, you look back in hindsight, and I see how that played out in my life. Next 18 years is feeling like I was falling behind everybody else. And it meant that anytime any guy was at all interested in me, I'd be like, Okay, fine, I'll be in a relationship with you, I'll see where it goes. Even though like literally every single one of those guys, I was like, this is not the relationship that I want. This isn't what I want. But I always kind of settled for these things because I never really felt like I could have what everybody else had, like it all started way back then. So you know, I was always in these relationships where I was like, this is not really what I want. But I felt like it was the best that I could get, you know, and got to my 20s and stuff like that and like, all over the same kind of guys. And I hear this all the time from women where it's like, oh my God is saying guy just keeps showing up. And the same guy is gonna keep showing up in different pants until you learn the lesson that he's here to bring you so it was like kind of my late 20s My guy was the non committal party boy lots of fun to be around but like just wasn't on the same page not looking for, you know to settle down had the committed relationship all of that kind of stuff. And so I was with one guy for like two and a half years like you know, we live together and all of that kind of stuff. And he broke up with me Surprise, surprise, always at Christmas time that happened to me to always got dumped at Christmas dumped every single relationship as well, which was always the kicker, because I was like these are not even relationships that I want. I know I know they're not right for me yet. I was always the one getting dumped as well. But he dumped me at about I think it was like 3031 and I just had this moment of like, holy crap, what am I going to do? So I did, did what most people do, don't they? I'm putting myself out there just like okay, online dating like it's nobody's business. Gotta find them holy moly, and this guy shows up on Tinder actually. And I was like, Holy crap, like, met him. He was like, unlike any of the guys had ever dated before. Like really cool job drove like a legitimate adult car was really nice to me, all of that kind of stuff. If we actually went like month number three went on this crazy romantic like, it was literally like one of those trips, they take on The Bachelor, it was like that, like horse riding through the Rocky Mountains in Canada to Hawaii, all of that kind of stuff. And we get home back to his brilliant and it wasn't very long until he just completed completely ghosted me. And I was, like, absolutely floored me because I thought, holy moly. Like, I thought this guy was the one and like, nothing ever turns out, right? For me, and I spent quite a while, like, just in this place of like, What the hell do I do? Like, what the hell? Like, I'm not ever going to have that what I you know, when you're a kid and you pitch you're like, I'm gonna get married and have a family of my own and do all those, like, the life that I thought I was gonna have. I was just like, How is this even possible? So know that if you're in that place, or it's like, holy crap, why is it just keep, like this keep happening to me, where I get all excited about relationships, and it all turns to shit again, or I can never seem to attract the right kind of guys. And you just like every birthday passes, and you're like, why am I still single, I'm still single, and like, the relationships just aren't progressing the way that I want them to. I can't find the one. Know that all of that pain that you're feeling right now I have experienced for myself, like I've experienced it all. And it really was like there's that saying. It's either inspiration or desperation that like inspires change, or gets you to change. And I think I really, I got to like a really low point where I was like, what the, like, what do I do? Like, what is the point of my life, it's not turning out how I wanted it to,
I don't understand it. I'm a nice person, I'm putting all this effort in, I'm doing everything that you're told to do to find love and look at me, like, all my friends are married up, and I can't hold together a relationship. Like the guys, I attracted just not who I wanted, like all of this kind of stuff. And I vividly remember, like, this was the big turning point for me, I just had dinner at my parents house, I was driving back to my, you know, apartment where I lived by myself. And I remember just having that moment or just like, crying screaming in the car, like, what do I need to do? And I remember I kept saying, like, what do I need to do? Tell me what I need to do. Just putting that out there. And it's ridiculous because I got home to my apartment. And I actually picked up a book that a friend of mine had given me years before never read before the alchemist which is, you know, a really well known book out there, picked it up. And I was just mind blown. Like my it was that moment that I really needed, where I was like, Holy crap, there's a whole way a different way a different perspective of seeing life, there's a way that you can actually live with life. And over the next couple of months, like Yeah, it was a couple of months, became a total recluse, like literally go to work. But I've come home and I'm reading all this stuff, listening to podcasts, just figuring out this whole other way to do life, like how to figure out how to have what it is that I wanted. And in a couple of like, I started putting all these tools into practice, all of that sort of stuff. And then within like, just a couple of weeks after I started really like, Okay, how do I take all these concepts that I'm reading? How do I like apply this to my own life, and started using a whole lot of tools and practices and techniques and things like that. It really was only a few weeks until like, my life shifted in the craziest, fastest, most epic of ways. You know, I worked, you know, had a career for about 11 years in nursing, nursing management positions, all of that kind of stuff. And I was always kind of like, okay, this is okay, you know, operational management stuff. I was like, I'm good at it, but I don't really enjoy this. And I'd spent quite a while kind of thinking, what else do I want to do? What else do I want to do? And it was in this period when I was trying out all these tools and techniques that a guy that I'd actually worked with previously came into my office and he said, You know what, you should I'm leaving, you should apply for my job. And I was like, I wouldn't have considered that but I thought you know what, I'm just gonna go with this and see what comes of it turns out, got the job, absolutely loved the job. It was kind of project sort of stuff, all the kind of stuff that I really enjoyed doing feeling like I was making an epic difference. All of that sort of stuff, like just was a breath of fresh air. And within 10 weeks of doing that job, I was actually offered a higher paying way more fun version of that job and it was just like, holy moly. There's some thing to what I'm doing the way that I'm shifting, you know, how I show up in my life, my perspective on things, all of that kind of stuff was like, there are some big changes happening here. And eventually got to a point where it's like, okay, well, let's see what this does. Let's try out dating again and see, see what this is going to change there. You know, and when, like, it really did take a whole new perspective, when I was out there dating as well, and found it like I was actually at a place where I found it. And I know there's gonna be some of you who are gonna be like, what I found dating really fun, I figured out a way to make it really fun, really enjoyable. And I got like, incredibly different results than I had before where it's like, you know, you're swiping, swiping, swiping, swiping, swiping, through the same old guys all the time. I went back on all the apps and stuff like that. I was like, Where have all these guys been? Like, holy moly. So dating a whole bunch of really epic guys. And I had one moment to Oh, my God had this one moment to where I was driving home through the city. Like I, a lot of big moments happen when I drive clearly. Driving home through the city, and I had like five messages from five different guys waiting for me on my phone, or naughty looking at my phone driving. Don't do that. But I remember thinking like holy crap, it was only a couple of months ago, I was like, there is nobody left to date and look at what is happening now. And then it was really only a couple of weeks until I went on my first date with my guy. I'm now married to my lovely husband. And like not very long after that he was like, unlike anybody I've ever met before really sure about me really sure about like what we had together really clear on us, like, holy moly, let's do this. And I was like, This is so insanely refreshing. And the other funny bit about him is too is that he's a farmer and I was living in Sydney. And he lives like, where he was living. We are now living in a town outside of Sydney, about three, four hours drive away. And I was like, I had also spent a lot of time thinking, Okay, I don't really like living here in Sydney, is there somewhere else I could live on I can really never like kind of pinpoint a place. And it was ridiculous because I absolutely love the town where we both now live. But it was like this whole thing came together the perfect job arrived at the perfect time for me to move blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, marriage, kids the whole thing and I now you know, it took me a while to realize, realize that I'd actually like figured out something pretty freakin awesome. So this all happened probably about nine. I know we've been married now, five years. So old is a big breakthrough that I happened was probably about eight years ago, eight years ago, seven anyway, quite a while ago. But it was only like about four years ago that I was like, Holy crap, I have something massive to share. You know if I can be at that sort of place where it's just like my head's killing from banging it feeling like I'm just constantly banging it against a brick wall. Like I have this desire, I want to have the relationship, I want to have the failure want to have the life but it's just not happening for me.
Really, yeah, I realized that, okay, if I can turn all of that around, then I have something that I can share on I can help women do the same thing. So for the last four years, you know, I've been coaching women, I have a program created the loved up effect, which is why this podcast is called the loved up effect. You know, there are three steps to that, that I've really realized. Like I've had hundreds of women now through my programs, 10s of 1000s through my free training events, and it's become really clear, like you take these three steps, and you end up exactly where you want to be, like so many success stories, women going through the lub dub effect, who are now married, engaged, you know, moving in with their partners, you know, just having these incredible experiences and these incredible turnarounds in their own life. So really the aim of this podcast and what this podcast you know, me being here chatting to you or this way is really to give you insights into how loved up effect can help you you know answering those really big questions that you have where it's like you know, that feeling I know you I used to have that feeling all the time where it's like there's some missing piece to this puzzle like I just don't get why it's so hard for me and I really want you to find that missing piece here in this podcast so that you're no longer stuck experiencing everything that you're experiencing right now and so that you actually find love so like I said this podcast is for you like to answer your questions to help you figure out your way forward into love to give you that missing puzzle piece. So I obviously get asked a ton of questions you know from people that feel like they're the only ones experiencing this kind of pain. Particularly you know, if you're someone and you're all your friends and married up like my kind of experience
like, always the like ninth wheel with my friends, you know, because they all were in the relationships, and they didn't really understand what I was going through, I felt really quite alone. So that's sort of the other purpose of this podcast is to help you like realize that you're not actually alone in any of this. I think that was the other big thing for me, like going through all of that stuff and feeling like, okay, less than everybody else, because I didn't have the relationship, I didn't have someone who, like loved me. So there must be something wrong with me all of that kind of stuff happening.
What I really want you to know is that you're not alone in any of that you're not the only person going through what it is you're going through. And I think that's been a huge, something that I've learned, just in the last four years, having so many women through a lot of my free training, events, and workshops, and all of that kind of stuff is that when people come into this community that I have, so many women are like, I just feel so much relief, because I've finally realized that I'm not alone in this, there's other people experiencing exactly what I am. So hopefully, you get a sense of that to to though this is a place where not only you can have those questions answered. But you can get a sense of comfort as well that this you're not crazy person, and you're not the only person experiencing what it is you are. So if you have questions for me, I so encourage you, I'll put a link in the show notes. Also, feel free to send me emails, all of that kind of stuff, DM me on Instagram, whatever works for you. And ask your questions. I really would love it. If you did that you can remain anonymous, I can use your name, if you're happy for me to do that. I love it. If you wanted to come on the podcast with me and chat actually live, that would be amazing. But it's whatever really works for you. And I really encourage you to ask the questions that you have as well. Because I want to make this like massive, obviously, you know, and really reach a lot of people. But I think also when you ask the question, it's so helpful for other people, because like I said, You're not the only one going through what it is you're going through. And in you asking the question, me putting that answer out there, it's going to help other women as well. So make sure you subscribe to the podcast, so you don't miss our first official episode. And I'm actually gonna be talking about something that I see in almost all the questions that I get asked, there's kind of an undercurrent. And I really want to address that first up, because it's one of the biggest blocks, I want to say mistake, but it's not really a mistake, because you don't realize that it's a mistake. But one of the biggest blocks that I see between women and actually finding love is what I'm going to be talking about in our very first episode. And I would love it reach out anytime if you have any feedback, questions, comments, because ultimately, this podcast is for you. I want to get you from that demoralized like single place where it's like, oh my gosh, how is anything ever going to turn around for me to that place where you feel empowered, where you feel confident where you're like, holy moly, things are actually changing for me. I can see that like I will be able to have that relationship. If not like stepping into that relationship. Nothing brings me more joy than the messages I get from women saying oh my gosh, look at me and my beautiful bar nah.
Anyway, so welcome to the loved up effect podcast. Again, make sure you subscribe. The episodes will be out every single week with questions answering your questions. Click the link in the show notes if you have a question for me, and cannot wait thank you so much for being here.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
